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It has been years since I have checked in. I have been doing exceedingly well! My son Rian is 2 going on 3, and I work in management for the Hilton Hotel Company. Sad to say I have not touched PS in years, but hope to get back on it here soon...ish. Would be cool to hear how some others are doing!

  • Listening to: Ice Nine Kills
  • Reading: Still Nothing
  • Watching: The Hours Of My Life Pass By @_@
  • Playing: Paper Mario
  • Eating: Chipotle
  • Drinking: Sprite
I have been extremely inactive in the designing community lately, however I got on here today and noticed I had hit 7000 page views. I really appreciate all the support through out the years, and hope everyone is doing well in their own lives. Love ya'll!
  • Listening to: Falling In Reverse
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Naruto
  • Playing: Assassin's Creed
  • Eating: PIZZA
  • Drinking: Water
Wow, now at 5000 page views! Thank you all for the support <3
  • Listening to: Falling In Reverse
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Naruto
  • Playing: Assassin's Creed
  • Eating: PIZZA
  • Drinking: Water

Those You Hold Dear

Journal Entry: Sat May 19, 2012, 7:13 PM
Sometimes life hits you dead in the face like a train. Alone you will be knocked over and obliterated. With others behind you however, together you may over come the hardest of obstacles.


  • Listening to: Falling In Reverse- The Drug In Me Is You
  • Reading: Halo The Flood (not a diehard fan I SWEAR XD)
  • Watching: Naruto
  • Playing: Assassin's Creed
  • Eating: PIZZA
  • Drinking: Bud Light

4000 Page Views!

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 25, 2012, 2:38 PM
Hey all! I did not do one of these for 3000, nor 2000, nor 1000 so I decided to do a thank you all in one! I really do appreciate the views and comments you guys leave me! Whether it be a harsh critique or a friendly hello all of that stuff helps :)! Hope to reach 5000 soon!!!

  • Listening to: Eminem - 25 To Life Lyrics
  • Reading: Halo The Flood (not a diehard fan I SWEAR XD)
  • Watching: Bleach
  • Playing: Halo Reach
  • Eating: A Sammich
  • Drinking: Water!
Hey all, I know many of you have sent your wishes to me and they all helped :). I was discharged last night after a week of fighting this. A total of four times I was rushed to the ICU in critical condition (lungs almost collapsed, good stuff like that). But now instead of being bed ridden at a hospital I am bed ridden at my home xD. Will not be good for about two weeks they said, hopefully it is shorter! Thank you all SO much for your kind wishes, it meant a lot :).

Hey guys I have been in the hospital for the past two days with severe phenomena in both my lungs. I am healing however as of right now my white cell count is about 3x that of a normal person fighting this disease. This has given my doctors, if only just a little reason, to test later on in the day for leukemia. It's not going good right now, but I hope to be out soon! I currently have my laptop with me thanks to my brother, so hopefully I can be on a bit today if my testing is not ridiculous. I have a bit of a new outlook on life because when i was first admitted I was in so much pain I could not walk. This was due to the fact that the phenomena was so bad that it had filled my lungs with liquid. If I had not come in when I did I would have drowned from it.

Keeping you all informed..... MUCH love guys. Thinking of you all every day.

These tears, surreal like the world surround,
The darkness, my eyes fade out to white,
The friendships once were, broken to those bound,
This life of conscious, take me away.

The rain on my face, soothing as it hits me,
I walk an askew line, never to keep with the quo,
These people all looking, what could they see.

The darkness over taking, my eyes are not closed,
This garden of envy, blooming like my mind,
It over takes me, the struggle not contained,
These tears on my face, they could only be mine.

Poem Written By: Anthony S Guerra
This story is solely the property of Sober Dreams.


         "There will come a day that you will grow to be a man, I hope on that day I may watch over you as I have always done." he said to me. Many people look at me and would never guess that much of my mothers family originates from Japan. My great grandfather, Haruko, was my last living relative that still lived in Japan. Haruko was not much of a city man, he preferd quiet and peace to surround him while he sat out on his porch and spent his days reading. For this reason he chose a town outside Tokyo called Kitamoto. He would often visit my family and bring news of his happenings half a world away. I remember always waking up early when I knew he was coming and waiting outside for hours on end to see him. The same yellow taxi would drive up and I would watch as he slowly walked up our gravel driveway, keeping his own pace and never minding how fast the world around him was moving. The way he moved made me think of an oriental type film, each step was calculated and had meaning. When he would reach me I would jump into his name and he would always greet me with the same smile and accented hello. My grandfather and I would spend every waking hour together, wether it was sitting in the living room eating or out in the town I was right by his side. When he left I would always cry and ask him to take me too, and he would gently pat my head and give me that same warm smile before leaving. Those were the days I cherish the most, the days where I could rely to put my problems on him and have his help in my delimas. That was until one day my Mom told me she had booked a flight to Tokyo for myself only and I would be leaving to see my grandfather for a few weeks. I never expected what was to come.

The day I left was the day I turned eleven. I remember getting on the plane and my parents waving me goodbye while mustering their final birthday wishes to me. I was so nervous that when my gate was opened for boarding I was shaking and on edge of crying. I finally mustered up the courage to take my first step and remember thier faces being lost to the crowd of people walking back and fourth like shadows in front of them. I took my seat near the front and quietly read a book given to me by my grandfather called "The Life of a Man". I edventually fell asleep, when I came to it was to the pilot's warning to put our seatbelts back on and our landing would be soon. My body tensed as we were landing, I had never flown before this day alone and had a nasty fear of crashing. I remember wondering if it was all a dream, hoping I would not wake up in my bed at home. That was when I saw my grandfather standing at the gate, his tattered wool jacket and paper boy hat never changing. I ran up to him and for a moment I was the happiest kid in the world. As we walked down the asiles to the bagging area I remember how I told him all my stories from school. Haruko was a quiet man, but his smile had power. I always remember shooting glances at him as I would tell tales of my wonderful adventures in the mud hoping I would catch that smile. It was reassuring to me in many measures. He grabbed my bag and smiled to me as we began to walk out to the taxi.

Waking up to the smell of a home cooked meal, it was only 1am but my grandfather was already up and about. I remember walking out of my bedroom and noticing the dim lighting and oriental styled house. The floors were all wood with diffrent etchings in them, they creaked under my feet with every step. As I rounded the corner to the kitchen there was an only slight glance as Haruko clutched his chest before greeting me with that smile. Pretending not to notice anything we sat down and ate as he muttered his usual, "Itadakimas". When we were finished he rose and washed off our dished before turning to me and asking if I would like to go on a walk with him. I was never allowed up this late at home, so I jumped on the occasion like it was a christmas present. By the time we were walking out the door I was pratically bouncing off the walls with joy. We walked for a few moments before we turned onto what seemed like a beautiful tunnel of pink. "These are Sakaura trees Anthony," I remember him saying, "There are many beautiful things on this Earth, however these trees carry a magic within them that calm this body". I glanced around in awe, the sweet smell of the trees pink buds filling my nose and causing it to go into total ekstacy. The moon was shining strong through the trees, causing a magic like pink shadow on the dirt road ahead. As we walked I remember asking, "Why do you live alone? We have an extra room at home you could use!". A childish comment indeed, however I remember seeing his face light up for a faint second before he turned to me with a grin on his face. Out of nowhere he began to laugh, something out of character for him. As he stopped he smiled and put his hand on my head as he looked me in the eyes, "Anthony, there will come a day that you will grow to be a man. I hope on that day I may watch over you as I have always done," he stopped before he contiuned seeming to pick the words systemiaticlly before he spoke again, "There are many kinds of people in this world. There are the people who will care about you, and there are the people who would rather see you suffer than offer a helping hand. I have watched over you and taught you many things.". I had no idea to say, so I childishly blurted out, "But Grandpa, you barely ever talk!". Once again he chuckled before taking the hand off my head as he glanced up to the stars, "Baka (stupid), you think like your Mother too much. Have you ever heard the saying 'a painting is worth a thousand words'?" I took it as a rhetorical question as he continued, "As a painting is worth many words, there are also many words in general that are better left unsaid. If I were to tell you everything that was on my mind that would take the fun out of guessing wouldn't it? There are things in life that are meant to be earned, Anthony. Sometimes a man who is precieved as dumb because he does not speak is better than opening one's mouth and being found as such". There was a long pause before we contiuned to walk, this was the first time I had ever hear my grandfather say more than a few words. As we walked the forest got denser and darker upon suddenly we came across a great opening where the moon reflected on a pool of water like a mirror. We walked up to the edge of the pool and my grandfather looked to me as he stuck his finger into the water, "See this? My one finger has caused many ripples upon this once still pool of water. Those ripples will be heard by all the fish, and all living things they come across". I sadly looked up and told him I did not understand what he meant, he smiled gently as his eyes turned serious. He took my sholders in his hands as he said, "Anthony, every person on this Earth has a purpose. That purpose is not directly laied before us, we are meant to make our own path. These ripples define your influence on others. One way you will be a man and you will have your own ideals that will reach out to others and impact their lives in ways you could never imangine. Those influences could be for the better, or the worse. That is completly decided by what path you chose to follow". We watched the final ripple fade away into nothingness.

As I was about to board my plane, I remember wanting nothing more than to live with my grandfather forever. I kept looking over my sholder hoping his face would not fade away, it never did. I still remember that smile shining through the crowd of people like a light in the darkest of rooms. As my gate was called I ran up to him once more and hugged him goodbye for what felt like forever. My great grandfather died two days after I returned home, he was 97 years old the day he died. I remember not crying at the funeral, and when my sister asked why I simply stayed quiet. I knew I had learned something that noone else in the world could possibly know, and it was all thanks to Haruko. His ripples reached my life, forever impacting it. I realized that as the ripples that faded from that pool, my grandfather had faded from this world. The one thing I knew that noone else seemed to comprehend was that even tho he had faded from this world, his teachings would stay with us forever. I remember smirking as I thought that Haruko had become immortal, if not in body than in our memories. My grandfather had taught me that every person has a purpose in this world. He taught me that every decision you make has a chance of influencing others lives in ways we can not as a single person comprehend. I was the last one at his grave, the last words I ever spoke to him as a soft breese drifted fast, "Thank you... for everything". I ran to the car with a smile on my face, ready to face my life with best intentions. I wanted, and still to this day still want, nothing more than to be just like Haruko.
The school currently is being applied to by many people, please do not miss your chance to attend my school of graphic design for FREE! A school established back in 2009, the SoD has had over 3000 applicants and many successful graduates! Join today :D
Creating a Dev Team for a Visual Novel Anime. Currently looking for:

Design Artists
Music Artists
Animation Producers
Program Coders
Story Line Writers

If you have any experience in any of these areas, please contact myself IMMEDIATELY!
Yea, you heard right! The School of Dreams is back for FREE at the link listed below! Apply today for free! We look forward to seeing you there!
Hey guys! I have found a site that is basically Mad-Fx all over again xD. Family oriented and fun site, I have asked the leaders if I can host my school there and they are seriously considering it! If I were you, I would go and register now and get a chance to meet the people there! Very fun and active community :D.
On January 3rd I will have been designing for 6 years! So many memories, but even more friendships along the way! Still a few people I would love to meet again that were lost to time, but moving forward has always proven efficient! Haha so many memories. I remember when text being 30px was awesome if it had color, I remember when double focal was the 'in', I remember when doing some basic smudging made you a pro if you added some light, and best of all I remember when faded focals were sick! A happy 6 years on the 3rd, with another happy 6 to come hopefully :). Thanks to all those who have helped along the way!
Hey guys I am currently holding a one month premium contest on my group page! If you are interested please visit the link below! Happy holidays!
Hey everyone, MadFx is actually a website that existed in 2009 and early 2010! We were a family site, with about 40 active a day on forums. The site died due to a failure to keep payments up, however we are back and looking for new artists with fresh ideas! We are a team for battles, however we are also a family group! I hope we get some new faces in here, we wanna break the top!

~Sober Dreams
Thanks so much for the views and follows people :D! It means a lot to have support, and I will continue to push out great new designs! Also for those who are just coming, my most recent tags are kinda messed up on the front page because I uploaded all my old art! Browse my gallery to see what's new!

Much love!

So, sig-lab is turning out to be an awesome choice for a new GFx site to myself. Great community, awesome staff and all good comments and battles. Lovin it, think I found my new home!